Archive for July 18, 2009


The Quest to find love?

If you live in the world (which we all do), we are bombarded with advertisements surrounding the topic of finding love. Nowadays, people search in various places to find love. More than ever individuals are going online to search for the perfect one. Whether it is on e-harmony or match or MySpace we are desperate for the ultimate one. But how far would you go to find perfect love?

Reality television has highlighted the fact that people go on quests to find the real one and have created these amazing shows some incredible some fall flat but the main aim is to highlight the extreme levels of finding love.

silhouettedcoupleRecently, I saw a promo for a new program showing fabulous plus size girls seeking love. What was interesting is that the person I was watching television was grossed out because the person didn’t want to see fluffy girls seek love in this format on television. I made the point quickly that obese girls need love too. What made it unique was traditionally we only see slim, size zero girls on these reality shows seeking love. It makes it very weird for some people now seeing plus size girls on their quest on main stream media.

How far is too far?

Would you go in a dark room to find love? Would you join a dating site to find love?

A new program to hit the ABC network will have couples move in a house and the dating process would all take place in the dark. However, what happens in the dark would be revealed in the light as the couples would see each other for the first time. Some would be grossed out; I guess the others would like what they see.

I like the fact that people are getting out there to find love. I like the fact that we are finding unique ways to do so. Traditionally, people date by being introduced to friends and date by networking in your own circle. Things and times are changing and people are getting with it. It is no longer weird to date in a dark room, on the job, on the internet or even speed dating. Finding love is now the focus of most people. Individuals want to share their lives with someone special and unique.

To find that unique person, how far would you go? Is finding love on the internet weird for you or we all have come to accept this form of dating?

Share your views!

Can men cry?

man-cryingMen who cry…..what can we make of them? They are soft, insecure, wimps, cry babies, sissies, bitches, other degrading words are used, and the list goes on. But the fact is men who cry or show emotions publicly are seen as losers. Are they?

The perceptions we have of men who cry or show emotions publicly are often times culturally driven. Most cultures do not agree or will accept men crying or men showing emotions. We can readily accept women showing emotive language because to some, women are weak, lower than men and are born expressive beings. But, how can we accept women who cry but we cannot accept the same of men? Aren’t we all the same?

Is this attitude the same across the world? Clearly it isn’t. I am appalled that we on the Western side of the world have this terrible view of men who show emotions publicly. We believe that men who show emotions are weak. It is however, the opposite, those men who show emotions are actually strong men. Women will tell you that if a man is strong enough to show emotions publicly they will respect them even more. It does not benefit a person to store up all that emotions inside and never have the boldness to express it. That is what we do when we degrade men who show cry and show emotions; we stifle their emotional and psychological development. Can we save people from heading down a road of suicide? We can if we foster cultures where we accept that is okay to express your deepest emotions.

Take France and other European cultures for example, they do not have cultures where they bash men who show emotions. For them it is quite normal. It would be like walking the street, pretty normal. I believe countries who can accept the expression of emotions are advanced and mature when men and women are able to express themselves not having any fear that they will be chastised for feeling hurt, or even feeling pain.

Women mostly should take responsibility for the attacks men have received because of the expression of emotions. Majority of times they drive this negative escapade. Through those experiences men recognize that hey if I show my emotions she/he will think less of me and think I am weak. I do not know how men have reached this low point. But it is time to prove to men that they are strong emotionally when they are able and freely to express themselves.

man-crying (1)What is also depressing is that the media pushes this culture of allowing men who show emotions to feel like wimps. They support this thrust to have men always exude a presence of power which is not bad. But we must also support the real growth of a man and that is to support the man when he is at his weakest, the moments when he is hurt. Men should be able to express themselves and not have the risk of people calling them the worst names ever.

Times change some say. I hope we will mature culturally and recognize that when men show emotions whether of strength or weakness that they will be seen as normal as they are. NO, a man is not touching his feminine side when he cries, he is a man.