On a bus going home from class, passing a church I overheard a couple arguing on the streets in busy Kingston, the capital. As the bus accelerated I heard the guy who turned out to be in his early twenties blurted an expletive to the younger female who he was talking to. His angry tone rang sirens in my head and as I stepped off the bus I ran around the corner to see what was going down. To tell the truth the journalist in me was at its highest and I literally ran until I was there. I took out my blackberry to record the final moments of the argument but because of the darkness I couldn’t. I hope the next blackberry model will have an embedded light to record in the dark. When I reached an area near this couple they continued to argue while the girl started to cry.
I love relationships. I love the stability and balance it offers for people who decide to share their lives with others. There is a glow that shines on those who share a bond. A glow so beautiful and loving that it makes onlookers jealous. Whether it is your soul mate or your best friend, a relationship with someone can make a friend’s life fulfilling.
Relationships are like living things, they go through stages and their own challenges. My friends can admit (I hope) that they have never heard me arguing with people. Writing this now a moment in time flashes across my mind where I totally went bizarre on my friend who had hurt me so bad. That is one in a million times that I can go out on someone. I do not like arguments with anyone. If I see a crises coming on I literally ignore it. If that is not possible I just zone out, if I can’t step away from your presence. I know this in particular is true and it comes from my childhood experiences. My father would have disagreements and his way of expressing his dissatisfaction or grievance would be to argue and think that would be satisfying or solving the situation. From back then I have not liked arguing with people. I think they are better ways to solve issues that affect each other and that involves sitting down like adults and speaking through issues and seeking the best solutions.
Can you imagine having to discuss disagreements on the streets? It is the most vulgar thing I can imagine someone doing. It is crude and shoddy because you are bringing your most private moments to the public arena and I do not want to be subjected to listen or see you pollute the environment with your antics. If I am not availing myself to discuss what is pertinent to you it means I am not ready to do so. It does not in any way give you the right to step in front of me on the street to make your point be known. Not only will I ignore you but I might act like I don’t know you.
Tips to deal with people who you have a disagreement with:
- Before you have a fit. Ask yourself if this is something to be upset about?
- If it is big enough and you have reasons to justify it. Attempt to have dialogue with the person about the issue.
- Speaking with the other individual does not include shouting, expletives, and offensive remarks and so on. Speak in a relaxed tone and air your issues.
- If a meeting is not forthcoming, and you genuinely need to speak with this person it may be time to have others intervene (close pals, professionals) to help you if forgetting this person is not an option.
Relationships die and you will have challenges. There is no way a face off on the street is the way to go about doing it. Sorry! Friendships and relationships will never go perfectly fine. You are two separate individuals, with two priorities, two different outlook on life and the aim is to make that one. If I am sure about one thing you will have mountains to climb with that diversity. But it can work. Next time you have a disagreement, count to ten and talk it through.