Tag Archive: Pop Culture


Single Ladies Generation

Beyonce

Beyonce

Pull me into your arms
Say I’m the one you WANT
if you don’t, you’ll be alone
and like a ghost I’ll be gone

Lyrics from Beyonce’s Single Ladies

For some time now I have not taken Beyonce’s Single Ladies song seriously. I have listened to the song many times but thought it was a fun, great song to dance to (not me lol), never thinking about the hard issues embedded in it until I had a heart to heart conversation with a friend.

For many who have tried dating and searching for love, they’ll admit how sad it gets when the man you expect to pop the question never does, but gets so scared.

I do not support people who spend years dating and flirting with a steady boyfriend/girlfriend and never asks the question to be married or even become exclusive partners. It is ridiculous and makes the guy (most times we are expected to have that discussion) look silly and his actions questionable. Is he there for the long haul? Is he nervous about commitments? Whatever the answer, guys who flirt around for years, afraid to enter marriage, will most often lose the girl.

Personally, I think men who are wary to enter commitments show characteristics that women should refrain from entertaining in their lives. If both parties give selflessly to the relationship and the man doesn’t ask the question, should the female let him go? Should women be expected to start popping the marriage/commitment question then? Certainly women will not consider the suggestion that they should start going on one knee. I would say the  majority of us (both male and female) would agree that the decision should be left to the man to make.

Now, more than ever, women are not waiting on men to propose. In the twinkling of an eye, another gentleman or lady is ready to pick up where you left off. This brings me to the line Beyonce shouts in her song, “Where my ring at?”

Many women are asking, “where is my ring?”. Come on: a good partner doesn’t come along twice. When you have found the one that completes you, challenges you and makes love the best, “put a ring on it.”

If you don’t, you’ll be alone, and like a ghost they’ll be gone. – Beyonce’s Single Ladies

Beer Summit 2009

The President made some less than flattering comments on the Gates/Crowley controversy. Today, or a mere minutes ago the Beer Summit – Let’s talk moment ended. Obama wanted this matter to become a teachable moment. Did this summit achieve that? I am not positive the president achieved this but he achieved lots of bad PR and will not have ended how stupid this whole drama is.

Beer Summit Photo

Beer Summit Photo

I personally do not think that the president of the free world should have used a beer summit to solve this issue. If he had wanted this to become a teachable moment, does he really think sitting and drinking beers would achieve this? This man is so obsessed with being cool that he has taken it to the level where he looks rather un-cool.

The president should have invited these men to a discussion on race relations. That’s what he wanted. This action by the president would prompt millions of Americans to have a serious sit-down talk on this issue. Instead we are forced to see the leader of the free world get down drinking beers making him look immature. Sgt Crowley commented that the discussions were about the future. I am sorry sitting around beers on the brink of getting drunk is not having that teachable moment.

So the lesson from this is, when you have disagreements with people on this topic, could drinking beers the solution. I am no thrilled about how the president acted but this was not a happy moment. The Obama we know from the campaign who articulated a new message on race, I want that Obama back. I want to see Obama articulate and lead on this issue of race relations. Obama got one thing correct; his team changed it from a childish picnic table to a white table top surrounded with chair for four.

Can men cry?

man-cryingMen who cry…..what can we make of them? They are soft, insecure, wimps, cry babies, sissies, bitches, other degrading words are used, and the list goes on. But the fact is men who cry or show emotions publicly are seen as losers. Are they?

The perceptions we have of men who cry or show emotions publicly are often times culturally driven. Most cultures do not agree or will accept men crying or men showing emotions. We can readily accept women showing emotive language because to some, women are weak, lower than men and are born expressive beings. But, how can we accept women who cry but we cannot accept the same of men? Aren’t we all the same?

Is this attitude the same across the world? Clearly it isn’t. I am appalled that we on the Western side of the world have this terrible view of men who show emotions publicly. We believe that men who show emotions are weak. It is however, the opposite, those men who show emotions are actually strong men. Women will tell you that if a man is strong enough to show emotions publicly they will respect them even more. It does not benefit a person to store up all that emotions inside and never have the boldness to express it. That is what we do when we degrade men who show cry and show emotions; we stifle their emotional and psychological development. Can we save people from heading down a road of suicide? We can if we foster cultures where we accept that is okay to express your deepest emotions.

Take France and other European cultures for example, they do not have cultures where they bash men who show emotions. For them it is quite normal. It would be like walking the street, pretty normal. I believe countries who can accept the expression of emotions are advanced and mature when men and women are able to express themselves not having any fear that they will be chastised for feeling hurt, or even feeling pain.

Women mostly should take responsibility for the attacks men have received because of the expression of emotions. Majority of times they drive this negative escapade. Through those experiences men recognize that hey if I show my emotions she/he will think less of me and think I am weak. I do not know how men have reached this low point. But it is time to prove to men that they are strong emotionally when they are able and freely to express themselves.

man-crying (1)What is also depressing is that the media pushes this culture of allowing men who show emotions to feel like wimps. They support this thrust to have men always exude a presence of power which is not bad. But we must also support the real growth of a man and that is to support the man when he is at his weakest, the moments when he is hurt. Men should be able to express themselves and not have the risk of people calling them the worst names ever.

Times change some say. I hope we will mature culturally and recognize that when men show emotions whether of strength or weakness that they will be seen as normal as they are. NO, a man is not touching his feminine side when he cries, he is a man.

With the recent death of Michael Jackson I am learning more about the individual he was. Born into a talent rich family the Jacksons he was destined for greatness. But with this status came many controversies that made MJ very stressful later on in life, some saying it may even have led to his death.

michael_jackson_died(2)

He was a major star, with many hits from his various albums produced.

I have sat down to watch some interviews he did and found myself amazed at how misunderstood this man was for the vast majority. His controversial court cases rocked his career for the worst making him an enemy and a paedophile. Even after his name was cleared by the court the accusations still follow him like a legacy.

His soft demeanour could be heard in his music. MJ was deeply concerned with his image. Close friends relate that he was a perfectionist taking years to produce an album and investing more than enough in music videos. The quality of his music speaks profoundly about the great artiste he was investing time and money in what he produced.

Although he is no longer with us, I can appreciate the media coverage journalists are providing giving an insight into his dark life. His music will forever live on. Michael Jackson remains the king of pop, a true icon.

Even those who hate MJ will agree with him on this point, he loved helping people. If this world would only love a little bit more the world would be a better place. Michael Jackson is a celebrity whom we have come to know from a distance. In an interview he claimed the song ‘Childhood’ was the autobiographical song of his career. If you really want to know this man listen this song, it may change your mind.

The outpouring of love from around the world shows the impact this man had on the people that enjoyed his music. Even now those who did not like his actions will come to realize this man is a real legend, a real icon, the king of Pop. Michael Jackson took the internet with him in his death. That’s the power he had.

Corve DaCosta