Tag Archive: reflections


Ahhh, You’re such a FLIRT!

Harry:                   Hey

Veronica:            What’s up?

Harry:                   I’m good.

Veronica:            Cool. I’m fantastic. You look amazing today; wish I could spend some time with you. (Smile)

Harry:                   Really

Coworkers-FlirtingFlirting for some is the ideal. Being on the receiving end gives the receiver the kick they need just to jump start their slow or bad day. If you are involved in a relationship flirting would be the last thing on your mind – based on set cultural rules. On the other hand, however, single people who are not obligated to anyone, find it enticing to flirt. But are there advantages and disadvantages of flirting? Sure, there are, but if flirting is ‘contained’ and by that I mean not over the top then friends and people in your circle should be able to flirt. Why not?

I remember later on in my high school years that we all would flirt but we knew at the end of the day nothing would come of it. It wasn’t serious – I want to date you flirt. We need to acknowledge the fact that there can be heavy or light flirt. Heavy flirt is where you make the other person uncomfortable in their space. This is most relevant in the workplace and may lead to sexual harassment. Heavy flirt also includes staring and lusting at someone in a demanding way which makes the other person think you are dangerous and makes them scared. I have been out recently and people literally act out of line in their quest to send their signal that they are interested. One would think that if someone is interested they would say “Hi”, or wave with a smile – something that is cool and fun. What people are doing is the extreme and makes you want to run. Staring and licking their lips makes it heavy flirt which makes you feel grossed out.

People who have mastered the art of flirting are great at making friends. You place them in a room with strangers and you watch them come alive as they work the room – getting people comfortable around them. I am a believer in flirting. Flirting builds ones ego, confidence and can you imagine flirting could also activate your adrenaline and nervous system? Essentially, flirting allows you to become more alert and stimulates the limbic centre of the brain, which creates pleasurable feelings among other things.

For many, flirting is an abomination and a sin in relationships. Are partners depriving themselves of lower stress levels and the ability to eliminate loneliness when they all ignore flirting – all the benefits? There should be boundaries in relationships and these must be reinforced and established. Partners in relationships should be allowed to flirt lightly. Hold on, but they do flirt without the view expressed which means that partners in relationships know the accepted limits in flirting. Relationships that embrace light flirting would mean that partners lead happy lives based on the fact that flirting provides benefits that will inextricably build better relationships.

I am in no way defending that men and women should go out of their way to flirt with others because of the guaranteed benefits. Everything should be done in moderation. Sometimes people will misinterpret your actions and think because you said something nice, sweet and endearing that it is their place to ask you out and to make certain advances. With this said one has to be extremely careful when they decide to flirt especially when in a relationship because when the word gets back to the other partner, the storyline is filled with lies.

Single folks can never really go wrong with flirting since they answer to no one. However, people who are hitched and are in relationships should be wary on how they go about flirting lightly and getting those needed benefits. Ready to flirt, who is first?

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Water Cooler Ed. 3

Welcome to the third edition in the series of the Water Cooler. This feature will highlight what’s hot, topical and up for discussion. Here we go.

Politics

Last week politics in the USA was great for a news story. I mean Jimmy Carter – the gift that keeps on giving, the Rep. Joe Wilson story got a run and Obama not granting FOX NEWS an interview. Oops how could we ignore ACORN?

Jimmy Carter

Carter’s presidency is no way to be admired. He ended his political career with one of the lowest approval rates in jimmy_carter_believe_barack_obama_shistory and has not been admired by many even after leaving office. His statement on Obama may have some truth to it but is not entirely what Obama wants to be hearing at this moment. If you recall, Obama did a speech on racism earlier in his presidency – which he got high points for doing, well executed. After months of that speech, Obama wants to think that his race is behind him. The fact is racism will always be present. We cannot ignore the colour of ones skin although we would want to think that we are going to start judging people by their heart and not their skin. Even Obama is wary to agree with Carter on this issue. The fact is Obama is pursuing political ideologies that are unpopular with republicans. They have deemed it fit to express themselves with tea parties etc. However, when you have a wide scale opposition march on Obama it makes people riled up and we have seen the various racial images that are present at these rallies.

The media is so driven by sensationalism that these images allow us to discuss and major in the minority ignoring the elephant in the room. The major issue that republicans and others are having is that the president wants government to take over health care. No matter what Obama does, he will have opposition. It is nonsensical to think that those who will not side with Obama are racist and have racial thoughts. Sorry Jimmy Carter we would rather agree with you on another issue, not this one.

ACORN

So if you lived on Mars for last week you would have missed the ACORN story driven by the most trusted name in news CNN. Oops if you were tuned in to CNN you would most likely have missed the story of the week but thanks to fair and balanced FOX NEWS they drove the story home when the other networks didn’t see it fit to cover it. This story is huge because of many reasons and most democrats are not seeing the significance of it. ACORN is a group that is supported by the government – taxpayers monies and provide homes for the less fortunate. A pretending thug and a prostitute went into the offices of ACORN across the USA to peddle a child prostitution ring and instead of being challenged by the ACORN employees; they opted to give these undercover journalists tips on how to carry out their illegal activities. If this isn’t news tell me what is. I try to be objective and when I see a wrong I call it by its name. News networks who claim they are charged to deliver what is important to people must refocus their organizations. Hint – CNN.

Obama TV

Obama’s presidency is currently lukewarm. He is bent on being popular but will pay the price for appearing so many times on television. The position of being President is by no means an easy task especially when you want to pass health obama_tvcare reform. Today, September 20, 2009 Obama is appearing on 5 networks to push his health care reform except the top rated network FOX NEWS. The FOX network isn’t taking the snub likely and went after Obama calling his administration “cry baby” and “petty.”

Obama certainly had a choice of where he wanted to place his message but opting to cut FOX and including an unrated network was brave. Obama at this moment needs to be convincing the same people he is snubbing, those who follow FOX News. A recent poll showed that FOX has a more balanced viewership than CNN etc. Obama snubbing FOX is huge; it might be interpreted to be snubbing the American people.

I think Obama needs to relax a bit. He is so focused on being the face of the administration which he is but it will begin to affect him. He needs to send Gibbs and VP Biden etc to do talk shows. When he sells himself so cheaply people will not care to tune in when he needs them most.

Love & Relationship

Couples today have to juggle work and creating a balance at home in their relationships. The Water Cooler this week is suggesting an idea that will have both partners engaging in effective communication while rekindling that love at home. Most working couples find it hard after a long day at work to arrive at home to cook dinner and do all the home chores that one needs to do.

couple-cooking-kitchenIt is true, couples need to spend quality time with each other. One way they can achieve this is by cooking together. This is simple, easy and shares the stress of fixing the evening’s meal. Sharing the duties in the kitchen will enable both partners to become aware of what happened in their individual days and allow them to share experiences. You will be so surprised how far this discussion will take you. It will also get you to know things about your partner that will allow your bonding and relationship to grow.

Inspiration of the week

The weekend is already over and wow aren’t we ready for the week? Do you ever have a perfect day? Well most of us don’t. Something are always off and sometimes things go pretty well. For this week try your best to keep a positive thought. Activities and duties may not be perfect, a supervisor may get on your nerves and you may be pressed to 2072865350015798315S500x500Q85meet that deadline. Think about the positive in the situation – you are blessed with life, a job and a home – not to mention lunch.  The moment you break away from your momentum other things will get off. You may begin to give a little attitude to your co-workers which may never be a good thing. I am not saying you will never face reality and notice the file isn’t opening or the report you thought you had finished is incomplete but hey, think of a solution and move on. Are you going to be stuck on the file not opening or beat yourself up for not finishing the report?

To view others in the series:

Water Cooler Ed. 2

Water Cooler

Leadership

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. – Peter F. Drucker

leadership-risesmart

Universities and work places are trail blazers in regards to team work. Many companies have teamwork as a pillar of success in their organizational structure. One cannot leave undergraduate school or any school at all these days without taking part in teamwork activities. I have been on many teams in and since leaving university. Working with others can be a hard deal for some people. This happens because a team member may want to complete all the tasks and not share the duties to accomplish the goal. Teams can be misguided and can lose focus on the end result. That’s where leaders come in. They take charge and lead the team in delegating roles and duties and ensure that deadlines are met. If budgets are involved, a leader is critical to ensure that funds are allocated to specific areas and that spending isn’t out of hand.

The absence a real leader can be felt by those who know the purpose of one. When a leader is not on a project the team members are left to their own discretions. This can be fatal to the success of a project. There is a fundamental gap that a leader fills. When a leader is present, his/her presence is felt and if the leader is effective, the project will be successful. But not all leaders are effective. This drives the discussion whether a leader is born or made. I cannot decide because leaders are born with characteristics that makes them great leaders while proper leadership skills can be taught. Education plays a critical role and education changes attitude and people’s lives.

In the life of any project, there is a period known as ‘crunch time.’ Crunch time is that period where all the different aspects should now be coming together to make one, to achieve that one objective. At this point, no mistakes can be made. If mistakes are made and are hard to be corrected then it puts the purpose, the project in limbo, great jeopardy. Projects sometimes face this critical moment and having a leader is important. That one person who can remain calm when the storm is at its peak, that level headed individual who can call the shots and ensure team members remain focused on the gaol. It isn’t easy as a leader because at this moment you can lose it and become angry at team members who are slack and are not pulling their weight. There is a thin line to tread because leaders should know how to communicate to team members so that team morale isn’t lost and the synergy remains at its highest point.

The attitude a leader shows to the success of the project speaks volume. Team members want to know that the same passion they have for the success of the project the leader has that or even more. There is a popular phrase that says, attitude determines your altitude. That is relevant for a team because the attitude, that drive, the positive energies shown towards the project by the leader and some team members will inspire those who haven’t got the idea that hey I should be working hard to make this a success. Within the attitude of team members there is an important variable called personality.

Each team member is different and must be treated differently. Team members all show different qualities; some are shy, introverts, extroverts, creative etc. A leader should be able to create that balance that will allow the group to feel like one team. The leader’s role is very crucial as the team member who is shy should be able to express him/herself so that the team can benefit. Who knows? That shy individual could have a creative mind that will make the concept amazing. The leader cannot isolate persons because of his/her attitude. That may turn people away or restrain them from playing a positive role. Conflict resolution is an aspect of teamwork that is a pain. Members of the group should not always have conflicts but apparently if conflicts don’t arise there is no group. Traditionally, we have come to expect that at certain moments team members will be upset with each other. Leaders should never have to comment on every conflict that arises but those that will develop into bigger issues must be tackled from the start and resolved.

Using the best talents on a project can be an equation for failure. But leaders should be able to use these resources at their advantage to create a wonderful outcome. If the project is to perform, produce a presentation etc the final output must be flawless. Group work is designed to get the best out of more. Majority of persons will admit working in a group is certainly better than working on your own. However, a group can be a disaster. Groups must believe that achieving perfection is important.

Leadership isn’t for anyone. It takes a great deal of work to be good at it. Your communications ability, organizational skills, leadership, analytical skills are all tested to produce a product that all can be proud of. The best leaders for sure are those that are able to take directions. If your attitude is always against those in charge, leadership may not be for you. If your attitude is to see things run in order, achieve perfection you may want to improve on your skills to make outputs greater.

This article was inspired based on prior experience working with people on various projects. It is not easy and can be very difficult. Team members all have a role to play in a project. But one cannot isolate the effectiveness or the relevance of having an effective leader.

The Work Environment

Fantasy:

Closeup portrait of happy business group

I want to work in an organization where everyone is one big happy family.

Is that too much to ask for?

Many people will end up working in organizations all functioning in different roles to improve the company’s bottom line – profit or to achieve an objective. Having employee synergy in businesses and teams are critical to the success of the business and the team. But what happens when a team member’s focus is clearly not on the final result, what do you do?

Students

Students

University students will tell many experiences where they had team members who did not participate on projects. Most times committed team members are burdened with the task of doubling up on duties to ensure the job is completed. It is horrible to think that these same individuals will be joining huge organizations. Only if management knew the background of the persons they were hiring. It is important to note that these are the same individuals who have all the links and networks to land them good jobs after graduation.

Most times in school I do not know how but I ended up being the project leader on many projects. I am not a confrontational person, so it is interesting to note that a person like this would lead groups with these issues. There is something very critical in team leadership and that is communication. How you say things out loud, your non-verbal actions are critical in communication. Communicating to delinquent team members that their participation on team projects are critical can be traumatic but doing so must be done carefully to ensure that the team member although being reprimanded still feels important and apart of the team.

Present Project

SuperStock_1487R-54847I happen to be working on a project with a team and it has shown me that communicating can be the biggest challenge for most people. When team members make disparaging comments on the workplace and you know they are making references to you, do you comment automatically?  I wouldn’t and I will tell you why. I do not believe in damaging the work environment. Responding to an employee’s insensitive and stupid comment will only lower you to their standard. I would advise to walk the high road and just ignore and avoid having any confrontation with employees/team members whose aim is bent on making other team members upset. It is a pity they live a sad life and I would not advise anyone to respond to employees who exert behaviours like this. Live your life happy and I’m sure they will fade away when they become obsolete.

Each employee/team member has a crucial role to play in ensuring that the workplace environment is healthy and productive. Anytime the work environment is degraded and becomes unhealthy and unproductive then more conflicts will arise. Management primarily must ensure that employees who are set in their ways to disrupt the work environment must be managed and supervised to ensure that unnecessary attention are not focused on these culprits.