Tag Archive: single


Thanks Daddy

We never can overemphasize a father’s impact in his child’s life. Many times those who have a father’s presence take it for granted. While those who are without a father find ‘father figures’ in the form of boyfriends, uncles and other relatives, it is not surprising that statistics emanating from fatherless homes and lives are horrendous. Many of the myriad problems societies face are a result of fathers not playing a role in their child’s early years. Of course, the same happens when mothers abandon the parent-child relationship. However, there are more negligent fathers than mothers today. Culturally, we have accepted the absence of the father as normal. We have also accepted the ridiculous excuses that may be given by the father to justify his absence as a parent. Even those who live in the same home with the children need to realize that a father is more than a ‘pay-rent.’

The paternal role as sole financial provider is rapidly becoming obsolete as more and more women make their way in the corporate world. Fathers must come to the realization that all the money in the world can never replace the bonding and interaction that characterize healthy parent-child relationships. The relationship should not be forced. It should be built over the years with trust and communication. Certainly, money plays a role, but children must be made to feel independent and should therefore be provided with their own cash. Parents must secure quality education for their children.

Today marks the eighth anniversary of the war in Afghanistan. The soldiers who are deployed in the war-torn areas, to serve their country in an endless war have rocked millions of families in America. Evidently, both mothers and fathers are away from their families but can you imagine the absence of a father? Many of the stories that are told highlight expecting mothers; and that makes the situation even more devastating. The memories these fathers miss cannot be repeated even if they are recorded. Memories like seeing your child going off to school for the first time, seeing them graduate, play in the park, looking at their report cards are all events that parents anticipate. Fathers suffer but more so the children are impacted emotionally because ‘daddy’ is not at home to share in those private ‘Kodak’ moments. Bonding is reduced to letters and phone calls.

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Who can forget the video of the dad hugging his daughter after the little girl threw the ball back on the field? It melted hearts but what should never be missed is the father’s reactions. I watched the video over and over again and wondered how many fathers would have reacted the same way. It makes me wonder because here you have a dad who is clearly a baseball fan who decides to hug his daughter in a moment where he could have been upset.

Fathers are important from the fertilization of the egg to adulthood. We should never at any point think mothers should raise children on their own – even though some women beat the incredible odds of single parenthood. Both mothers and fathers are important in the development and nurturing of a child. We need to ensure more than ever that fathers play that role in a child’s life. Fathers may not be aware but children are watching parents and are learning from their attitude and actions.  A father’s presence in his child’s life makes a difference. Only those who have experienced it can begin to express what it really feels like.

It is time for men to be fathers again.

Ahhh, You’re such a FLIRT!

Harry:                   Hey

Veronica:            What’s up?

Harry:                   I’m good.

Veronica:            Cool. I’m fantastic. You look amazing today; wish I could spend some time with you. (Smile)

Harry:                   Really

Coworkers-FlirtingFlirting for some is the ideal. Being on the receiving end gives the receiver the kick they need just to jump start their slow or bad day. If you are involved in a relationship flirting would be the last thing on your mind – based on set cultural rules. On the other hand, however, single people who are not obligated to anyone, find it enticing to flirt. But are there advantages and disadvantages of flirting? Sure, there are, but if flirting is ‘contained’ and by that I mean not over the top then friends and people in your circle should be able to flirt. Why not?

I remember later on in my high school years that we all would flirt but we knew at the end of the day nothing would come of it. It wasn’t serious – I want to date you flirt. We need to acknowledge the fact that there can be heavy or light flirt. Heavy flirt is where you make the other person uncomfortable in their space. This is most relevant in the workplace and may lead to sexual harassment. Heavy flirt also includes staring and lusting at someone in a demanding way which makes the other person think you are dangerous and makes them scared. I have been out recently and people literally act out of line in their quest to send their signal that they are interested. One would think that if someone is interested they would say “Hi”, or wave with a smile – something that is cool and fun. What people are doing is the extreme and makes you want to run. Staring and licking their lips makes it heavy flirt which makes you feel grossed out.

People who have mastered the art of flirting are great at making friends. You place them in a room with strangers and you watch them come alive as they work the room – getting people comfortable around them. I am a believer in flirting. Flirting builds ones ego, confidence and can you imagine flirting could also activate your adrenaline and nervous system? Essentially, flirting allows you to become more alert and stimulates the limbic centre of the brain, which creates pleasurable feelings among other things.

For many, flirting is an abomination and a sin in relationships. Are partners depriving themselves of lower stress levels and the ability to eliminate loneliness when they all ignore flirting – all the benefits? There should be boundaries in relationships and these must be reinforced and established. Partners in relationships should be allowed to flirt lightly. Hold on, but they do flirt without the view expressed which means that partners in relationships know the accepted limits in flirting. Relationships that embrace light flirting would mean that partners lead happy lives based on the fact that flirting provides benefits that will inextricably build better relationships.

I am in no way defending that men and women should go out of their way to flirt with others because of the guaranteed benefits. Everything should be done in moderation. Sometimes people will misinterpret your actions and think because you said something nice, sweet and endearing that it is their place to ask you out and to make certain advances. With this said one has to be extremely careful when they decide to flirt especially when in a relationship because when the word gets back to the other partner, the storyline is filled with lies.

Single folks can never really go wrong with flirting since they answer to no one. However, people who are hitched and are in relationships should be wary on how they go about flirting lightly and getting those needed benefits. Ready to flirt, who is first?