Tag Archive: writings


Grip on that Self Esteem

What is self esteem? Self Esteem reflects a person’s overall evaluation of appraisal of his or her own worth.

This article was birthed out of a discussion I had with someone. They approached me with a question that I did not see coming. The person asked: “Am I attractive?” This question was never asked to seal the individual’s convictions of his/her level of attractiveness. Instead it was asked because I think this individual was insecure about it.

What was intriguing about this situation was that the individual who asked the question personally, I thought they were crazy. Because they are attractive, not even average – above it. The person has attractive skin tone, quality hair, great features, and a wonderful personality to go with all of that. If you are looking someone to settle down with they would be on your list because they lead a balanced life and is incredibly smart. One can imagine my shock. After the conversation ended I thought deeply that there is a bigger issue here. Many times we hear of young girls and boys being insecure, more so girls. Many times as well the media, internet, advertising and magazines are blamed for glamorizing images that are not Main Street.

People who find that they are insecure about anything; it typically becomes a major issue hindering emotional growth among other things.

Improving your self worth is no easy feat especially when you have reached certain levels. However, I believe with certain steps, tips, guidelines whatever a therapist may call it, they can be helped.

  1. Find things to love about yourself

This is critical because if we do not find something to love and adore within ourselves someone will point out one and it may not be all that good. As young people we are embedded in the latest gadgets, technology, and media that we forget the human side of our lives. We need to take time out from all those phones, televisions and internet to have personal time for ourselves. We may not see the importance but can we start looking in the mirror and loving what we see. Be in awe. The fact is, the celebrities who we think have a perfect life and who we look up to also find themselves being insecure about many things.

  1. Surround yourself with positive thinking people.

I think this one is mostly underestimated because we think sometimes we can combat negative people. Newsflash, most times we can’t! If you surround yourself with people who watch their calories to the tee, always pointing out other people’s faults, always degrading others, finding imperfections on their body etc. you might want to change your circle of friends. Surround yourself with people who appreciate and celebrate their lives, people who in a moment will encourage you than fight or tear you down.

  1. Challenge yourself

This will be a task. If you are like me, then you do not have a huge following of friends. J Nothing wrong with that, just treasure the ones you have today. I would tell you to challenge yourself. Test your abilities to find and appreciate things that you will begin to love about yourself. For example: if you hate your weight, get out there and do something about it. Do not try quick fixes; buying tighter fitting clothing to make you look smaller or liposuction. That will not work. Sign up for a gym or work out at home. Yes! Bring the gym home. You do not need a personal trainer. Be cost effective and find videos on Youtube that will challenge you to fight your weight.

  1. Celebrate you!

To overcome your insecurities you must begin to celebrate what have kept you down. I am sure you have seen those public service advertisements on television that have expressed people living under $1 a day, or something to that effect. We have homes to live in, access to the internet, clean air to breathe, food to eat and all these things. To be burdened down with our insecurities are not worth our time. Get out there and celebrate your uniqueness and change what you can change naturally. We have one life to live and living it sad, insecure and bewildered is not an option.

Love your life today and live your best life now! Go!

Breaking News

Now this piece will shock some people, especially black folks and some whites. My opinion even shocked me. So before we do anything, let us get the facts.

Background

h_l_gates_jr_medHenry Louis Gates is a competent scholar and primarily known for his work at Harvard University and the fact that he is black. He is all over the media, hosting shows, commenting on issues, even being listed in the Time Magazine among the 25 most influential Americans. This guy is huge at 58 years. At the time of this incident he was on a trip from China where he is filming a documentary.

So, Gates arrives at his rental home in a limo and attempts to open his door. The key turns the lock but doesn’t open the door, it is jammed. There are conflicting reports here, some say he had a key others he didn’t. It doesn’t matter. Apparently this wasn’t the first time. To solve the issue he heads to the back of the home and enters through the door turning off his house alarm system. He then heads to the front door and with the help of his driver they get the door open. In getting the door open, the driver has to wedge his shoulder in the door as is he is trying to force entry to get in. Meanwhile, a passerby who knows there have been increases in break-ins in the area calls the police and mentions what is taking place. At this time Gates is on the phone reporting this matter to the managers of the home.

In no time, American style, police shows up.

Sgt. James Crowley

Sgt. James Crowley

Now, if I were Gates, I would be so nervous police shows up at my house. I am innocent this is my home. After hearing what the police is there for I would be eager to explain the situation, gently not causing any alarm. I haven’t done anything wrong.

No, Mr. Harvard goes in a tirade, yelling and accusing the police officer Sgt. James Crowley of racial bias. The officer recognizes what he is dealing with and asks for identification. Gates said “No, I will not.” Of course, every officer should know his face; he is a diva professor at Harvard. How could you not know who you are talking to?

Gates goes on to say ‘this is what happens to black men in America.’ Now this situation is getting out of hand. Racial issues are brought up. The officer attempts to calm Gates down to no avail. Gates heats up declaring to the officer ‘You don’t know who you’re messing with”. At no point in the official report does it say the officer is rude, uncouth, harsh, or disrespectful to Gates. The report details the vicious verbal attack of Gates against this law enforcement officer.

So he is locked up, mug shot all over the internet, charges dropped later and we all have our opinions.

Now an officer is charged with the duty to serve and to protect. An honest call was made to the dispatcher about a possibly break-in. This officer within his limits has to ensure that this is not a criminal in a home. He must also use his judgement. I would not want to imagine what would happen to this officer if he allowed a thief to get away. He would have looked silly.

Henry Louis Gates is the real racist in this matter. He is battling his own issues of being black. He is the first to draw the racist card and does so in a violent way, having a tantrum with the officer, even though he is innocent. Gates is also wrong for not willingly identifying himself. Dude, you are INNOCENT, YOU ARE IN YOUR HOME. Gates was not arrested for showing proof he lived at the house. I would think that he was arrested on disorderly conduct because of his nasty attitude and racial comments. That is the real issue. His hissy fit gave him an arrest although the police may have been in the wrong. By the way, the police actions are consistent with his traning.

Henry Gates should be ashamed of himself. This matter could have been handled by him much better. But in his quest to stand up for every black man in America, and sell more books he now looks stupid. Of course for many, this is racial profiling. White police officers should not accost black men, because all of a sudden you will be accused of being a racist. Black people should stand up and blame themselves for packaging themselves wrong. They have a terrible history of breaking the law and being cheeky.

Barack Obama was then asked recently in his press conference about his thoughts on the issue. He didn’t minced words to call the police men of the area actions stupid clearly pandering on the thoughts of many black Americans who cry race. The president is wrong here. He normally is credited for his language and oratory skills; on this issue I do not think he handled it well.

Lesson here, cooperate with the police. It may safe you some PR work if your this popular.

Below is the Police Record of what happened.

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Letterman and Palin

PALIN CABINETSarah Palin became popular in the 2008 Election in the US. Although not winning the election she has become a voice for the Republican Party. In the general election late night spoofs of her were flattering even damaging the image she tried to create. Recently David Letterman made offensive remarks about her and her 14-year old daughter. The show has come under fire from certain quarters who found the remarks out of line and reprehensible.

Letterman’s remark were below the line calling her image ‘slutty’ and made a joke alluding that a famous baseball star would have sex with Palin’s 14-year old daughter.

Isn’t it amazing that the media is not outraged against this man? Isn’t it amazing that the media isn’t reporting this issue? Isn’t it alarming that feminist groups are being quiet on this incident? Where are the apologies from CBS and David Letterman?

I am outraged; dissatisfied that even a joke like this was made. It is a sad day because those that are expected to speak out and be heard are kept numb to the point where it is deafening.

There is no way a man of this stature can make remarks alluding to violence against a 14-year old. When did we have to lower our standards that low to have laughter? But this was coming a long time ago. The media currently has no respect for Sarah Palin and this is evident as no one is supporting her. I think it is fair game to have a laugh about Sarah Palin. She has made her life a public one and this is a huge decision that an individual make when they put themselves in the media spotlight like this.

I sincerely believe that if Letterman had joked about the Obama’s underage girls like this, there would have been outrage; maybe even cancelling his show would be eminent. But, ‘little’ Sarah Palin from Alaska who seems to only make the news when the laugh is on her deserves no respect.

I must point out that ‘little’ Sarah Palin has led Alaska’s economy well. They are not bailing out any industry within their economy. They are investing more than ever in education, and developing their natural resources to sustain Alaskans. She is sending excess funds to Federal Government to bail out other states. The state even refused to accept bailout funds because they didn’t need it.

Why is this woman constantly attacked for her beliefs? I have no respect now for David Letterman, not that I did have any. What do you think about all this? Is it fair game to make rape jokes about a 14-year old?