Listening to newscasts day in and day out makes you immune to the weirdest or ridiculous news stories. One thing I have found interesting all the time are murder cases. I find them so interesting because most times close friends or relatives do not even know that the person was capable of committing such an inhumane act. It is not surprising that these accused however can lead such a double life with those who are closest to them – clueless they could act in such ways.
Accused of killing Annie Le
I find it baffling though that people who lead normal lives – have a job, join the latest social websites, enjoy going out, attend family events, church etc can turn around in a split second and hold an airplane hostage or kill someone and stuff their body in a wall. How gross?
I would not want to know that one of my closest friends killed someone. I would be shocked, saddened, flabbergasted and just confused as to how I didn’t see the complete picture. How could I miss that my friend was able to maim and kill someone? This is the reality that many people face in their lives as their friends are accused and later charged for killing or committing heinous acts of violence. I do not judge people and would not encourage people to do so. I usually am naïve when it comes to putting the whole picture together. I usually wait for the person to show their real colours. I do not have the guts or the ability to see things before they do happen; some of my friends can by the way.
The major stress in all of this is coping with the fact that your friend lied to you all along. The fact that they have kept their double life a secret pains you even more because you do not want to see this person suffer especially in prison where they will end up. This ridiculous situation makes you look stupid because here you are willing to put your life on the line for the person when they are able behind your back ready to kill, rape or abuse someone.
The cases are then dragged through the court system which makes the pain even harder to bear because most friends and relatives are called upon to be apart of the defence. The defence typically proves that the accused lived a normal life and was a great individual with a bright future. Sometimes it is hard to prove your innocence because of the overwhelming case of the prosecution; but the defence’s arguments may be used to lessen the time behind bars or allow you to walk free.
It doesn’t help that people nowadays have crazy turn-ons. Whether it is sexual, visual etc the weirdest thing turns them on making them into addicts. More than ever it appears that being abused – emotionally or physically is a trend. This horrible cycle affects all parties. This encourages the abuser to continue especially when s/he is able to hide their double life’s activities. Revealing it to the world is furthest from their minds and so they do everything to keep it private; whether they are going to be alone or seek ways to entertain their negative ways – online or with a group.
I hope people who are close to these accused men and women will begin to see warning signs from early on to help them get over their issues. We have tendencies to overlook these instances where they mention something crazy, or we witness them doing something which could in the end lead to their own detriment. It is time we take a stand for our friends and relatives and ensure that we do whatever we can to help when we see warning signs glaring in our eyes.
Corve DaCosta's Blog 
Interesting post, I had never looked at it from this perspective. Hope I never have to experience this phenomena.
Hi Corve – my first time here. Interesting blog!!! You think if it was your friend/relative, you’d get a sense that something was not right.. was odd??? It’s all very unbelievable and makes you really question the human psyche!!!
Cheers
Holli in Ghana
@Holli
I could not figure it out unless the person spelled it out. It’s amazing how people can hide a different side to their life.
That is so true, sometimes someone you think you know really well will turn out to be totally different that what you thought. Great blog!
I noticed you are a follower of my blog now so thought I would pay you a visit and say welcome. Your blog is most interesting.
The questions, how do you know, and what can you do, come to mind.
How do you know for sure that someone you “think” might be capable of violence is, in fact, going to do something violent? I was friends with a murderer once. Not that I knew he was a murderer, because when I knew him, he was only a “potential” murderer. I grew up with him. We were chess opponents. It wasn’t until long after HS when I hadn’t seen or spoke to him in years that I discovered that he was in prison for strangling his wife. But, when I learned, I had to ask myself the question: did I think this person was capable of doing something like this? And the answer was a definite yes. Then I had to ask myself: was there anything I could have done about it. And the answer was a definite no.
Regardless of suspicions you might have of someone, you never really know for sure what it really is they’re going to do.
It is so scary to think about these things. You never know what anyone is truly capable of. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around this one!
To be honest I believe we dont know anyone really that well and also put into strange situations we dont know how we’ll act. Its all one thing to hypotesise but when its that moment with no time to think or the adrenalin is just flowing sometimes you’re never sure whats going to happen. Yea its true if you’ve got certain values certain things shouldnt happen but its more than the person sometimes its also the combination with the situation. its fascinating actually but let this just teach you that sometimes you really cant judge or really dont know anyone even though you may hold closest.
Great post!
It’s very unfortunate, but sometimes we subconsciously choose to turn a blind eye about clear signs of agression when it comes to someone that is close to us. Perhaps is because, no matter how clear the signs are, we will always be too afraid to admit that someone close to us might be capable of commiting heinous crimes such as murder or rape.
I fortunatelly haven’t had to deal with any issues related to that in my lifetime, and I pray to God that I never will. However, I had a friend commit suicide, and the feelings were just as shocking. I guess, after all, the outcome is the same: my friend had a disorder that pushed him to end his own life, and those close to him somehow overlooked that aspect of his personality.
The sad part is that my friend was friendly and outgoing, and never showed any signs of depression, at least none that I could personally see. If he did, I must have subconsciously ignored them because I never thought he would do something like that. Either that, or I didn’t know him as well as I though I did.
Wow, your post is eerily similar to what I went through a few years ago. In 2003, a good friend of mine I’d known since childhood and who I looked up to as a “big sister” and mentor (who was also a female minister at my old church) committed suicide and I had just went shopping with her the week before and never saw her death coming. It was absolutely devastating to me and still is. You’re right, you don’t really know what people are capable of…I’ve known some very angry and confrontational people who have never actually assaulted or killed anyone and I’ve known people like my late friend who was laid back, friendly, had a loving husband, a loving family and friends, a beautiful home, was seemingly happy, and yet still killed herself….